Taxes

It was pleasing to note that the EU is considering banning the oft-used practice of budget airlines of advertising flights for "as little as 99p!" only to add large amounts of taxes and fees after you've decided to book the flight. But what amused me was a quote on the BBC website from Mike Pedley, principal researcher at Holiday Which?:

"For airlines it is common practice to separate out charges but consumers only get shown the full price at the end of the booking. This doesn't happen at the supermarket till, so why should buying flights be any different?"

Er... he's obviously never been to the US. Not that the tax is ever that much, but the thing I find most annoying is that you can never use up your loose change because, what with sales tax being an almost continuously varying function of ones position, it is impossible to work out what the total charge is going to be in advance.

Bread

Bread tastes different in America. And I can't figure out how, or why. Any ideas?

Gay games

Maybe I'm missing something, but I don't really get the point of this. Do people think that all gay men run like pirates:



and hence aren't good enough to compete against men of a more heterosexual bent? What would people think if someone suggested a sporting competition for only those of African origin?

Shoes

Many months ago, in the depths of winter, I bought myself a lovely pair of boots, in England. After a month or two's wearing, something strange happened to them and they started to fall apart. I dutifully took the boots back to the shop I bought them from (in England) and pointed out that this was probably a manufacturing fault and could I please have a replacement/my money back. The manager of the shop, full of English charm, said it was not a manufacturing fault and they must have fallen apart because my feet were too sweaty. Hence no refund.

A month or so ago, I bought, in America, a rather nice pair of sandals. Last week I happened to notice that the leather on the left shoe had worn much more than that of the right shoe and was looking rather worse for wear. Ignoring my roommate's cries of "Ha! Your feet are too sweaty!" I took them back to the shop I bought them from (in America). With barely a glance at the shoes, the kind manager offered me a store credit of the full amount which I can spend at any time.

God bless America. And shoes.

He lost it

"Not so much Cannavaro, as `can you believe it?'"

Thus spake Mottie as the Italian captain raised the Jules Rimet. Yes, the mighty Italians have triumphed in the World Cup. Well done them.

Meanwhile, rumours abound that David has been disqualified from the World Cup Sweepstake for headbutting Emily. Can you believe it?

I'm the Moon

I'm the moon.

Bikinis

It appears that it is incredibly difficult to buy a swimming costume or bikini in the US. I never had this problem in England. I think it might be a seasonal thing: the UK has no swimming season so you can buy them all year round. Here it seems you have to buy one in May or everywhere has sold out.

P.S. I was thinking of posting a picture of a pretty girl in a bikini for all you boys to gawp at, but I changed my mind...

Happy Birthday America!

So today is the day we have been waiting for. And all day, the one thing we have been waiting for more than anything else is a half-hour display of Evanston's finest fireworks down by the beach. I have to admit, they were pretty impressive. And my thoughts were confirmed by a guy sitting behind us, who was making almost orgasmic noises after every bang.

But one thing I am concerned about... this sort of display of patriotism is really quite expensive. Wouldn't it be better if they spent the money on the roads?

Moisture

The humidity here is becoming ridiculous. It's a bit like permanently being in a Turkish sauna.

Except there are slightly fewer fat naked men walking around.

Superman Returns!

After a disappointing day's football, I decided to cheer myself up by going to see what, beyond my expectations, was a thoroughly enjoyable film. The biggest highlight for me was that they used the original music, (something they really should have done in War of the Worlds), taking me back to my childhood days of rewatching Superman II over and over. Other high points included a terrifically bald Kevin Spacey as Lex Luther, the fact that Brandon Routh really does look a lot like Christopher Reeve, and the best lines of the movie, both from Lois Lane:

"I forgot how warm you are." (to Superman)

"But millions of people will die!" (to Lex Luther).

Classic.

Robbed

Some advice for the incoming England manager. When selecting players for the next England squad, ask them this simple question:

If in a crucial World Cup match, a member of the opposing team pisses you off in some way, will you kick or shove them, causing yourself to be sent off and the team to lose on penalties?

If the answer is 'yes', then don't let them play.